Divine Consciosness, I Am

The Divine Consciousness I Am is forever expressing its true nature of abundance. This is its responsibility, not mine. My only responsibility is to be aware of this truth. Therefore, I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all-sufficiency in my life and affairs. The Abundance Book.

What does it mean to be aware? For awhile now, I have thought that awareness is looking beyond what is present. My Christian ancestors often use the phrase, “The devil is a liar.”

I was sitting thinking about my thoughts and realized how many lies I tell myself a day. Lies of scarcity, lies of isolation and lies that I am not sure how it will end, when I look back and realize that it has always ended well-one way or another, it ended well, even if it was simply taking the gifts, lessons and growth of that which ended as a disaster. All ends well.

As I work to translate traditionally dogmatic and ancestral inheritance or to find their energetic roots, I understood what the phrase meant –there is no truth in it. There is no truth in not enough housing, not enough money, not enough friends, not enough success or progress…not enough, no matter what it looks like and no matter what I think about it.

I saw a bumper sticker that read, “Don’t believe everything you think.” After awhile, you learn that you cannot believe everything that people think about you, even well intentioned opinions from well intentioned people must be measured against what I know is true.

Twice now, I have had the experience of well-intentioned people totally invalidate deep inner knowing. In the moment I realized that invalidation can happen when I allow it and then, I look at where does that need for external validation come from? When I look outside myself for it, what I can be sure of- is that it is a gamble.

Yet when the messages are internalized-internal-coming from your own mind, how do you discern, what is you and what is a lie that you have chosen to believe?

I have a very simple measuring stick. Does that thought make me love myself more? If the thought makes me love myself more than I know it is from me, because my essence is love. If my thought leads me down-as my advisor says-the ‘Kisha’ road, then I know it is a 1,000 years of ghosts coming to visit me, speaking through me about things that have long since been over. Apparitions that were projected onto a form called the devil and that I have come to understand as thought forms that are lies, because there is no life in them.

What is awareness? Living life in present time. Where the birds play right next to the mailbox full of bills. Where hot water and ginger soothe the throat that is also sick with cold. Where the answers snuggle right next to the problem. Where the devil is a liar is released from dogma in order for me to know the truth of Life-God/Goddess-lives in me.

Form

My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires and as the Principle of Supply.

- The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

I have been sitting with the idea of form. A friend said, "The form did not allow me to express all of what I had inside of me." We talked about the struggle of artists to bring all of who we are into form and attempting to fit inside of form when you are a visionary.

Yet -again and again, I have found ways to find and create form of my expression. With my art, I often struggle to bring it into form. I put all that I have into and then there is nothing left. I think there is nothing more satisfying than letting something that you have created out into the world.

I have begun to understand that my abundance takes the form that I require. The other night I was feeling really lonely and when I got on BART, a young Phillipino man got up and asked me if I wanted to sit down. It turns out that he was part of a group of young men who were partying and very loud. I struck up a conversation with the man next to me and we clicked. He stood up an announced to the train who I was, "This is Kisha, y'all. Kisha is where it is at!" He told me that they were going to take me partying with them, because he liked me. He kissed me on the cheek and said, "Don't act like you don't know me when I call." My abundance takes the form that meets my needs.

Today a sweet lady came and handed me $20.00 out of the blue. I was thinking this morning that it would be nice to have my abundance come in the form of money and here comes Mary who held my hand and then released the money into it. We are in a sweet embrace, one of the few people that I feel seen by and I needed to be seen today. My abundance takes the form that meets my needs.

What if I created my abundance at the vibration of ease?

I have a training that I am giving tomorrow and I have watched myself run around getting ready. I know the larger trigger is that I am getting paid for it. Somehow when the thing that is being given of value is money, I lose my place. Then, I have to prove what I know, I have to prove my worth and I start grabbing at all of these books, papers, studies to validate my own inner knowing. I become stressed and what I love to do (interact with people) stops being fun.

What I give stops being equal, the value shifts in the face of payment.

Today, I am recognizing that my inner supply takes the form that I need and I am trusting that my inner supply takes the form that meets other people's needs as well.

I lift my mind and heart to be aware, to understand and to know that the Divine Presence I AM is the Source and Substance of all my good.

-The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price


I am aware. I am aware of the good in my life. I am training myself to pay attention to what is good. Every time I take the bus, I see such interesting dynamics. I watch and I pay attention. Today a man dropped his melon and it rolled all the way down the aisle. In that moment the bus stopped and the melon began to roll off the bus before a woman caught it. Everyone on the bus was watching it and one man asked his young daughter, "What was that?" She explained. He said, "It rolled on my foot, but I guess it is better than being kicked in the head."


There are a lot of things that are better than being kicked in the head. Y et, sometimes, life has had to come and knock on my window, so that I can wake up enough to actually look through it. I am practicing focusing on the good in my life and I am practicing setting boundaries and guarding my good, because I can allow others to snatch it from me. I am creating the life I want today, not reacting to the life that I do not want.

Re: 40 Days of Prosperity

God is lavish, unfailing Abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the Universe. This all-providing Source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me- the Reality of Me

-The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

When I am in a place of abundance, I see abundance all around me. When I am in a place of deprivation, I see deprivation everywhere. What is abundance and what is deprivation?

I feel abundance when I am drinking Rooibos tea, when I have an idea and I manifest it on paper or in the world. I feel abundant when I have a sweet interaction with a random stranger. I feel abundant when I reveal my inner sun and someone feels better as a result. I am abundant when I am of service. I feel abundant when I feel the sun on my face.

I live in an illusion of deprivation when I don't listen to myself and move forward when I know that I should sit still. I live in the illusion of deprivation when I allow myself to listen more than I am listened to. I live in the illusion of deprivation when I do not allow myself options or to change my mind. I live in the illusion of deprivation when I move against everything that I feel is true at the core of my being due to internalized conditioning of social conventions or 'shoulds.

Infinite Prosperity Individualized As Me

It is interesting to think that my prosperity is present when I am unable to pay rent, buy food or simply afford to get to work. I remember that I was at a conference and a man said to me, "You have everything you need inside of you." I absolutely could not believe that in the face of a serious financial crisis that I could have everything I needed. "Where?" I thought to myself. "Where is everything that I need?"

When I cannot see the answer in front of me, I go into effort- i.e. attempting to scroll through 100 jobs at Craig's list-then I start to 'feel poor' and in those times, everything gets really really hard. In those moments, there is no relief. Finally, I surrender and go against everything that seems logical: sitting instead of moving, being quiet instead of speaking and doing one thing at a time instead of multi-tasking.

Then when I finally manage my anxiety, an answer comes, support comes or something shifts: almost out of the blue. I am starting to think that it is less of an issue of a miracle and more of an issue is that I sat still long enough to get in touch what was there all along and it has the opportunity to show up in my world. Maybe it is always in my world and I slow down along to see it.

My work is to be present and show up for the moment. In the moment, I can just listen. I can trust myself, because I am as real as the situations that I face.